I came across this epiphany today, nothing is permanent. I knew it, everyone does. But sometimes this realization hit you as a brick in your head. Especially people and all the feelings related to them. It's all very subjective.
You see, you learn, you move on but these feelings come to life over and over again. Like they can't be killed or buried, albeit they're very short lived but work like a lethal virus. You freeze it with determination and willpower and then when you're low on emotional immunity it comes back, this time with a greater impact.
People talk about emotional intelligence and emotional stability, there are even practices, exercises and drugs that they say can help you achieve this. But all would agree that sometimes in life, you feel weak and when you do, this virus attacks with all the might it have and suddenly all these little plans and practices hit the ground zero.
Back to square one you try again for months without giving yourself the time to think and ANALYZE.
You try to wake up that BEAST within, that lion mindset and with all your potential you freeze it successfully once again. A fresh wind of satisfaction & contentment washes over your face.
But unfortunately all this happens again. Now you're sick, you take silly steps during this sickness. You compromise your relationships, your integrity, your identity. In your heart you know the end results, but this virus takes you to the dark places of your psyche you didn't even know existed.
An emotional turmoil takes on you, you start to wonder is this who i am? Then comes a period of self-loathing and doubt which breaks you inside out.
Somehow you manage to heal yet again but it leaves behind a trail of underachieved goals, broken relationships and hearts, shattered dreams and screams that don't make any sound.
This scream echoes in your heart and soul for the lifetime, making you Crippled and Broken.
Is there any end to it?
Can you stop it?
Can you kill the virus now and forever?